Strange weather

This summer, as with many summers, I will be alone on Lammas. RH and CS often leave for weeks at a time during the summer, to visit our relatives in the midwest. I don't have much money, so I often stay behind to work and save and get things done around the house.

I will celebrate on my own. I plan to make some corn dollies and a stew, so that I can eat the leftovers in the days after my celebration.

I haven't been posting much because I've been busy, but I've been doing daily meditations in my spot (see the picture, taken a few days ago).

RH and CS leave this weekend, and I'm going to be doing several rituals around the house, including a cleansing ritual in the kitchen, and probably a more personal cleansing ritual, the details of which I have not decided upon.

Summer is a strange time for me. Most summers come and go so quickly. At my office, the people I work for are largely gone and I am alone to spend my time as I please. I always start the summer with a long to-do list, and yet I end up accomplishing what feels like very little. The end result is a feeling of happy laziness and suppressed anxiety.

Now here it is, July, and already I feel as if this summer is a missed opportunity, like it has gone already, and I have missed my chance to get work done.

During my 15 minutes every day, I try to calm myself, and summon the energy to buckle down and deal with the tasks that must be dealt with.

I'm carrying around a green crystal today. To calm myself and focus my energies. I hold it in my hand and breath deeply.