spells, $800.

I've been calling my morning events "commune," but I've realized that most people would probably interpret that to mean commune the place (a community of hippie types), when what I mean is the verb, to communicate or talk.

Another word for the commune events might be meditation, except that I think of meditation as a quietening, where as this is more of an awakening. This morning during commune I said my first prayer, a kind of made up thing. It felt natural and good. I wrote it down. I'd like to bring an offering to my spot, the next time I come. I'll be making a lot of bread this weekend anyway, so I'll make an extra loaf, or half loaf.

At home, things have still been hard. Ms. Red Hair is at her wits end with work to do for her job, Curly Sue has been killing us with her behavior. I've been doing the "eastern healing" with CS on weekday evenings while I talk to her about her homework, but last night's really didn't do anything for her--or me, really. I was distracted by her homework, as was she. Ms. Red Hair has told me on occasion that she doesn't feel like the eastern healing ever does much for her, but she tolerates it willingly in the evenings, before bed. She seems to like it regardless of the ineffectiveness of it, because it's a time for us to talk.

It's hard for me to imagine why the eastern healing does so little for Ms. Red Hair. I feel like she must not be open to the experience, rejecting it somehow, except that I know she believes in it--she was, after all, the person who encouraged me to do it in the first place. Perhaps it is affecting her in ways she doesn't realize. Last night's session felt very good for me, refreshing.

Yesterday I cast my first spell; I need to earn $800 this June. I placed sunflower seeds in a tin, with my wish written on a paper in the tin. I placed a yellow crystal in the seeds, to signify the sun, helping it grow.

I said something small and I placed it on my desk. I have not made up the alter yet; one little thing at a time...